For sale: big watermelon, never eaten

Time for some recipes that helped use up a seemingly insurmountable amount of melon. In general, I find that recipes that list things in separate steps are intimidating and hard to read. Therefore, I'm going to pass my laziness off as an attempt to help, by making extraordinarily short recipes. Think of Six Word Memoirs, but without the artistic merit.

Watermelon gazpacho
If you were going to be a truly good cook, you would pick all the seeds out, or at least start out right and get a seedless watermelon. This is really easy to make if you have a Cuisinart (thanks, Mom!). It's also a perfect summer dish, especially for those who may be tomato-challenged. Enjoy, and watch out for a watermelon growing in your stomach after you're done.

Ingredients:
3 cups watermelon
1 cucumber
1 red pepper
1 small onion
2 tbsp lemon
1 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp parsley/cilantro
salt+pepper
red wine vinegar

1. Put ingredients in Cuisinart.
2. Put what comes out of Cuisinart into fridge.
3. Eat.




This next recipe sure does take a pretty picture, which is all that matters in life.


Watermelon Soda
some amount of club soda
some amount of watermelon juice
some amount of sugar

1. Juice your watermelon by letting it sit in a colander for a while, or by doing it wrong and impatiently and mushing it up with a spoon. Add sugar to taste.
2. Put ice in a glass and pour however much club soda you want.
3. Add some juice/sugar mixture to taste.
4. Drink it. Feel cool for making your own soda. If applicable, feel lame for calling it pop.