Wait, really?

In my previous post, I shared my encounter with a friendly local sorbet maker. His showmanship was not a mask but rather a reflection of his own scary, scary reality. (Please make sure to visit both Black Holes, so you'll understand). Now that I'm done with eating sorbet forever, I've had extra time to think about why this guy and his dessert freaked me out. Talking to him at the farmer's market was fine, because I could at least tell myself that it was all an elaborate act. There was actually no reason not to think this, as he had a megaphone, was spouting religious text, and playing a recording of church organ music while telling me that he would 'convert me into a believer.' Joke, right? As usual, the Internet simultaneously cleared things up for me and made me afraid to ever leave my apartment again.

And why try to write about it? I've realized that I am driven to extreme excitement over ridiculous things that are actually serious. I've asked around, and it's not just me: we take a sick pleasure in trying to figure out how 'serious' a given spectacle is, and are left both giddy and aghast when it turns out to be as real as real gets. It's more than being stuck to the T.V. watching an L.A. car chase. When I can't figure out if something is earnest or not, and when it turns out it's real, it becomes both hilarious and horrifying. Examples include:

Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman
The Miss Virginia Pageant (there is no video online, but just think Little Miss Sunshine if it were real and about 50 times scarier)
That adorable time Kim Jong Il celebrated the launch of North Korea's satellite (read: super deadly missile headed in our general direction)
Crispin Glover on Letterman
Crispin Glover in anything
Sarah Palin

If you agree that this is a feeling that needs to be share, here are some possible holiday presents that can inspire that giddy disbelief in your nearest and dearest:

Hug Me Pillow
The picture says it all, so I have nothing to add. Note that people are buying and enjoying it, and it is currently out of stock.


The Pursuit of Excellence: Ferrets
No, not ferrets in general. Ferret enthusiasts. Like, people who are really enthusiastic in a Best in Show kind of way. The song is where I started to get scared.