Thank You for Smoking (around the baby)

I volunteer at a local organization dedicated to health education for women. My specific role is to research specific health concerns as they come up in the year (August is Children's Eye Safety month - mark your calendars!). It's a fun gig because I get to learn little factoids that aren't entirely worthless. Did you know that "cataract" means "waterfall"? Did you know that Virginia is the only state to include legislation allowing breastfeeding on any state-owned property or land? The bad part about it is that I usually terrify myself into thinking that I have whatever condition I'm researching. However, I do feel pretty confident at this point that I have neither lupus nor teen pregnancy.

While researching breastfeeding, I found something slightly more disturbing than most of the conditions themselves. While advocates of breastfeeding say that it prevents many future health problems in children, it seems there is little or no conclusive evidence to support this statement. (Hannah Rosin's article in the Atlantic Monthly references 1970's studies that turned "breast-feeding advocates and formula makers into Crips and Bloods, and introduced the take-no-prisoners turf war between them that continues to this day.")

That being said, I did quadruple-take when I found this statement on the official, for-real website for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

If you smoke tobacco, it is best for you and your baby if you try to quit as soon as possible. If you can't quit though, it is still better to breastfeed since your baby is at higher risk of having respiratory problems and sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Breastfeeding lowers the risk of both of these health problems in your baby. Be sure to smoke away from your baby and change clothes to keep your baby away from the chemicals from the smoke on your clothing.

Ah, parental responsibility. Who needs it? The excerpt goes on to say, "You should probably not allow your baby to smoke. However, if your baby wants a cigarette, please keep in mind that your baby's motor skills are not fully developed, and offer to light it for him or her. Lighting it yourself lowers the risk of accidental burn and house fires. Your baby can enjoy nicotine straight from the source, rather than diluted in your milk, and the risk of injury is drastically decreased."

Chili powder in unexpected places

Brownies with jalapeños

With a few jalapeños left over from my cornbread adventures last week, I was trying to devise a way to make jalapeno ice cream. All of the recipes I found were complicated and looked like they may or may not be edible at the end. I decided to instead go with jalapeño brownies, since many sites advocated for the spicy/chocolate combo. (For more on this delicious phenomena, see the Chipotle Chili World Market chocolate bar).

* 2/3 cup semisweet chocolate chips
* 1/2 cup butter
* 4 large eggs
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 2 cups sugar
* 1 teaspoon vanilla
* 1-1/4 cups all-purpose flour
* 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
* 5 large jalapeño peppers, minced

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 9 by 13-inch pan.

Melt butter and chocolate chips together in a double boiler (or a bowl/saucepan/tin foil contraption, if you are not quite that fancy). Set aside to cool.

In a large bowl, whisk or beat the eggs with the salt until foamy. Add the sugar and vanilla and beat until well blended. Add the chocolate-butter mixture and stir until just combined. Add the flour and cocoa powder and mix until almost blended. Fold in the jalapeños.

Transfer batter to the prepared pan and bake until the top forms a cracked crust and the inside looks slightly moist, 30 to 35 minutes. Allow to cool, then cut into squares and dust with powdered sugar.




Chili Powder French Fries
We found ourselves with little interesting to eat for dinner the other night, with just some cod and potatoes. Not wanting to go the Irish peasant route, I thought I would instead go the unhealthy American route and make some easy and fattening fries.

Slice potatoes as thin as you'd like. Heat a layer of vegetable oil in a skillet, and add potato pieces. Cook until they are as browned/crispy as you want. Take them out and pat them down to remove excess oil. Omit this part if you want the full fatty, patriotic experience. Add whatever seasonings you want. (I added chili powder, garlic salt and a little bit of sea salt.) Eat as many as you want. Sue me and/or potato manufacturer for making you unhealthy. Yum!

Paul Rudd part II: "I lied to Bruce Springsteen"

Since I got the response from many that Paul Rudd is worth watching and reading about, I put my internet-searching talents to work. Take note, potential employers: General Computer Skills!

Here is some Role Models dancing in all its glory on the Daily Show:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Paul Rudd
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Joke of the Day

And then I hit the jackpot with this clip from Conan. Double dancing, plus a \story about meeting Bruce Springsteen.



And to bring it full circle, back to Jon Stewart again. No Paul Rudd, but there is both dancing and Springsteen. This one is a personal favorite of mine because, as he says, I certainly am a fan of joy.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Dancing with Bruce
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Joke of the Day

I haven't been able to find the end to The 40 Year Old Virgin yet, though part of me feels like it would cheapen such a masterpiece to have it readily available to watch at all times.

The sporting life

Loving K'naan and this song. From what I had heard on local radio, I had thought that the studio version was the official theme song of the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. All I can find on Google is that it is possibly Coca-Cola's official theme song for the World Cup. A little less cool, but still a great song. In addition to his other accomplishments, K'naan also has the distinction of being one of two Somali Canadians listed on Wikipedia.



For more on the World Cup next summer, here is an excellent piece on preparations in South Africa. The guy's an alright writer; maybe someday he'll make something of himself.

College takes minds into space like a rocket...

...I went to college, so I know.

R for language but A+ for funny.

James Franco's Rejected UCLA Commencement Speech from James Franco

Why Paul Rudd is awesome

"I Could Never Be Your Woman". There was no reason to think that this would be a good movie. I knew that going in. An older woman falls for a younger man?!?! What kind of wacky hijinks and cultural misunderstandings will ensue? My only reason for watching, as is the case with many movies, is Paul Rudd. Under-appreciated beyond belief, he is easily one of my favorite things. Unfortunately, he doesn't show up until about 15 minutes into the movie and I almost didn't make it that far. I slogged through the contrived dialogue and the appearance of a tv exec's cranky inner 'Mother Nature' as an imagined being who complains, eats junk food and makes witty comments on modern society and relationships. There were multiple other red flags, and it didn't seem like it could possibly pay off to keep watching. Until this:



This promised to be the zenith of Paul Rudd-ness in the movie and I figured it was all downhill from there. I watched this scene a few times. Then I tried to fast-forward to just his scenes, but at the 45 minute mark I gave up, as the worthwhile parts were few and far between. Maybe on a rainy day I'll discover how the fairy tale ends, but for now I'm glad to have left on a high note of glorious dancing. Not surprisingly, my search for that clip indicates that the whole movie is on Youtube if you are so inclined.

I can't seem to find either the clip of him dancing his way onto the Daily Show to promote Role Models, or the infamous Single Ladies dance on SNL, both of which would be very apt here. I instead have everyone's favorite part of Wet Hot American Summer, just 'cause:



I hope he never, ever starts to take himself too seriously. We'd be missing out on a lot.

Bread, soup and beans

Last weekend I managed to restrain myself at the farmer's market and I only got a pint of jalapeños, which proved very useful.






I got them because I had this tasty spicy cornbread in mind:

Jalapeño cornbread

1 1/2 cups cornmeal
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
6 tablespoons sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
2 eggs
1 cup buttermilk
1/4 cup olive oil
3 jalapeño peppers, seeded and finely chopped

(I also added in a little bit of chili powder and cumin for fun).


1. In a bowl, combine the first six ingredients, as well as the peppers. In another bowl, whisk the eggs, buttermilk and oil. Add to the dry ingredients and stir just until moistened. Pour into a greased 9-in. square baking pan.
2. Bake at 400 degrees F for 20-22 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Cut into squares or wedges. Serve warm.






I also found myself left with an overstock of green beans, but found this really easy recipe on Horse and Buggy (which Matt actually whipped up!)


Sesame Green Beans

1 lb green beans
1/8 tsp salt
2 tsp sugar
3 Tbsp soy sauce
1 tsp sesame oil
1 clove of garlic

Preparation:

Boil beans for 5 minuntes then run under cold water. Toss beans with salt, sugar, soy sauce, and sesame oil. Marinate 1 hour in a bowl that has been rubbed with garlic. Serve slightly chilled or at room temperature.



I also needed to get rid of a ton of cucumbers, hence some summery cucumber soup from the Bartlett's Farm Cookbook.


Thick, cold cucumber soup

2 medium cucumbers (the recipe says to pare them, but I left the skin on since that's where the nutrients are)
1 tsp salt
1 tsp fresh lemon juice
1 clove garlic, quartered
1 tbs sugar
1 tbs fresh chives, minced
2 tbs fresh mint, minced
1 cup plain non-fat yogurt (I went with vanilla, and what a yummy choice!)
1 cup nonfat sour cream


1. Put everything in a blender. Blend it. Put it in the fridge until chilled. Eat it in between bites of cornbread to cool off from the jalapeños.

Bigger, brighter and better food

Time to share some more scrumtrulescent food from the crop share!

Nearly unmanageable cabbage:





Rainbow chard part II (in this case called "Bright Lights chard":





A new, almost unimaginable treat called chocolate bread. Unsweetened, but notice the pockets of glorious chocolate chunks wrapped up inside. They get nice and gooey when you heat them up, and the bread is great with honey.




Finally, enormous, ready-to-burst blueberries:



These are not the blueberries you're going to find in your grocery chain. A size comparison with a timely patriotic nod:



I hear George was more of a cherry guy, but I'm sure these blueberries would convert him. Happy 4th!

The New Yorker: Life in Cartoon Motion

Of mice and bad jokes

I took advantage of a very long car ride to brainstorm pages of ideas for this cartoon. Dozens and dozens of lines. They ranged from overly complex ("We should go back to giving them cheese instead of calculators") to abstract and downright goofy ("Hey, where'd Doctor Elephant go?"). Ultimately, it was decided to go with a clever reference to Steinbeck:

"So much for our best laid-plans."

A well-known quotation aimed at an appreciative literary crowd? Perfection. Or so I thought. The finalists are as follows:

"Ok, let's slowly lower in the grant money."
"Relax, for them it's publish *and* perish."
"The research is conclusive - mice are even cuter when you dress them up in little coats."

While none of these are any good, the most aggravating part for me is the fact that one of them is a variation of one of the deliberately stupid lines that I came up with in the car:

"The results are in: the coats look much better on them."

Had I just pandered to the obvious, rather than trying to reach for the stars, that could be my brilliant wit splashed across the pages of the New Yorker. This is a lesson for the kids: always strive to meet the lowest common denominator, and you won't ever feel like you've overworked yourself for no reason. I could have also fallen back on one of the staples.

"Man, these mice could sure use a martini."
"This reminds me Jenkins: you're fired. Because the mice do better research than you."

While I had been intending to write about the mouse cartoon anyway, something in a recent issue caught my eye, and it seemed too surprising to ignore:

Airplane!



What's surprising in this case is not, as usual, how shockingly bad all of the entries are (listed below). All three entries, submitted by men, seem to point to how self absorbed and nagging women are. Keep in mind, I'm no ardent feminist. Anyone who thinks "women" should be spelled with a y needs to get over themselves. The saddest part is, all of these entries are things that my friends or I may have come up as a joke to make fun of people who talk this way. We say them in a goofy voice, putting on the character of one who thinks their joke is funny, laugh a bit, and then dismiss them and move on to something that is actually funny and not just based on a well-known and easily dismissible stereotype.

I feel like perhaps The New Yorker isn't helping itself by providing a known symbol (sexy high heels) of supposed womanhood, and nothing else. Juxtaposing it with manliness and airplanes led to the inevitable fallback on wacky gender roles. However, I find it hard to believe that there were no other entries that fit the bill, or could have at least broken up the incredible string of bad, misogynistic jokes:

"She thinks her bomb bay makes her look fat." This is probably the most painful. Did she buy the shoes to make her feel better about looking fat? Do the shoes help her not look fat? We don't know, because there's no reference to the shoes. Just to the hysterical woman-plane hybrid wearing them.

"It's a pretty good aircraft, except it keeps nagging you to ask for directions." Haha! Wow, women sure are obnoxious. Good thing she's at least not the one driving in this equation, because we all know how that would go. Crazy woman drivers.

"She's a lover, not a fighter." I don't completely understand this one. I'm going to go ahead and assume the guy wants to have sex with his plane. Well done.