I love this chicken neck

This came my way through Lauren G., and it's infinitely better than any recipes that I put up here:



Note to self: to make cooking better, obtain patience, nice kitchen and hilarious intonation. For my favorite lines, a close second to the post title is "I keep them." (in reference to the pear slices).

Further contributing to the idea that it's not what you say, but how you say it, is the following piece of brilliance. My apologies to those who were beginning to forget that Sarah Palin exists:


And a moment when Shatner's intonation perhaps works less well, depending on how much you like "Rocketman":



We all have our favorite Walken (and possibly Shatner) lines. Now is the time to share them!

And you know that how?

Though I try to understand, I have to admit that I don't know much about the current health care debate. I'm aware of the concerns on each side, but I know that I don't know enough to formulate an opinion or be an advocate one way or the other. Is the current proposed plan going to magically fix all of our lives? Probably not. Would it help improve some huge pitfalls? Most likely. That's about as far as I can go.

However, this video has given me courage. I realize now that I have too long hidden my ignorance. Knowledge isn't necessary for misplaced indignation and yelling (hence, "misplaced"). You can just say whatever you want as long as you are loud enough to hide the fact that you don't know what you are saying. It is time to become an ardent supporter of that which I will never fully understand. Where do I get me some cardboard and markers?

For sale: big watermelon, never eaten

Time for some recipes that helped use up a seemingly insurmountable amount of melon. In general, I find that recipes that list things in separate steps are intimidating and hard to read. Therefore, I'm going to pass my laziness off as an attempt to help, by making extraordinarily short recipes. Think of Six Word Memoirs, but without the artistic merit.

Watermelon gazpacho
If you were going to be a truly good cook, you would pick all the seeds out, or at least start out right and get a seedless watermelon. This is really easy to make if you have a Cuisinart (thanks, Mom!). It's also a perfect summer dish, especially for those who may be tomato-challenged. Enjoy, and watch out for a watermelon growing in your stomach after you're done.

Ingredients:
3 cups watermelon
1 cucumber
1 red pepper
1 small onion
2 tbsp lemon
1 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp parsley/cilantro
salt+pepper
red wine vinegar

1. Put ingredients in Cuisinart.
2. Put what comes out of Cuisinart into fridge.
3. Eat.




This next recipe sure does take a pretty picture, which is all that matters in life.


Watermelon Soda
some amount of club soda
some amount of watermelon juice
some amount of sugar

1. Juice your watermelon by letting it sit in a colander for a while, or by doing it wrong and impatiently and mushing it up with a spoon. Add sugar to taste.
2. Put ice in a glass and pour however much club soda you want.
3. Add some juice/sugar mixture to taste.
4. Drink it. Feel cool for making your own soda. If applicable, feel lame for calling it pop.

We can't all marry Liza Minelli

Right? Taking into account the Arrested Development sign, Liza must be an effective political negotiating tool. Clicking through the whole slideshow, I really can't decide which one is my favorite. However, as with most things in life, it brings me great relief to see that others can tell when no one else knows what's going on. And that it's hilarious once you start to take pictures.

One Fish, Two Fish, Girl Fish...wait a minute...

Since I now spend 2.5 hours in the car every day, coming across cool things on the radio has brings a lot of excitement to my day. I should mention that my definition of excitement is rooted in the fact that if a truck doesn't try to run me off the interstate, it's been a fairly good trip.

Most of this excitement and happiness comes from NPR, though there are other sources that I'll outline eventually. I had to share this story I heard on the way home today, about the prevalence of gender-bending male bass fish in the U.S. Now that I've thought about it, I am reminded of a terrifying primetime special I saw on XXY syndrome in humans, in this case caused by a bee sting (watch out, guys!). However, I burst out laughing when I first heard the fish story. No, I don't think it's ridiculous. However, I do think that these "intersex" fish are going to make the population of bass fishermen highly, highly uncomfortable.


Going back to our literary theme from last time, perhaps the male fish would feel more in touch with themselves if they picked up Middlesex. While I can't come up with one for this book at the moment, please continue to post your own haikus! If you're more into rhyming, do like Ted does and try a limerick, or whatever other kind of poetry floats your boat. Just keep an eye on the fish underneath.

A song that's too good to pass up.

The wind gently blows/As I read in the summer

Book reviews: too long?
Short and sweet in haiku form
Leaves time to read books.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly - Jean Dominique Bauby
Man of Elle has stroke
Writes book by blinking one eye
Heartbreaking, quite good.

Saturday - Ian McEwan
Rich man, lengthy thoughts
Angry fight, turns tables yet
does nothing - letdown!

Atonement - Ian McEwan
Affair, then child lies
Lots more story, no real end
Sensing a theme here.

Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
Clones in the future
Efficient, set, but happy?
Good, short, Savage read.

Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro
You think high school sucked?
Clones become organ donors
Strange: was there a point?

I Love You, Beth Cooper - Larry Doyle
Nerd woos hot prom queen
In grad night redemption race
Sweet, funny, great read.

Cat's Eye - Margaret Atwood
Woman reviews life
Smart, Canadian Mean Girls
With paintings; insight.

Behind the Scenes at the Museum - Kate Atkinson
Tristam Shandy-style
memoir; large family tree
through years. Funny, smart.

Twilight - Stephanie Meyer
Vampire/human love,
Smut for middle school girls, but
Ashamed to say: good.

Now please share your own
To share what's good and what's not
May the best post win.

Slightly related -
Best paper headline ever
On teacher's firing:

"Poetry teacher told to take a haiku."

Teaching healthy skepticism about teaching

I thought this was a satirical piece when I started reading it, but it's a true account of the system in place to provide "time-out" for incompetent teachers. Unfortunately, time-out can last for years while arduous trial proceedings drag on, and teachers get paid for every penny of their time. It does tie into the larger debate about tenure/how to evaluate quality in teachers, but it may make you wish you didn't know that things were run this way.

For more on issues in education that don't have an easy answer, this is a New York Times discussion from a few weeks ago. One commentator refers to the "charade" of higher education, while others laud education schools, or discuss TFA and teacher evaluation. A lot is covered, because there is a lot to cover. However, my lukewarm experience in grad school, combined with what many have termed my "zero tolerance policy on BS," leads me to applaud this writer's take on education degrees (made even more telling by the fact that he himself is a professor of education):

"A master’s degree in most subfields in education...adds little or nothing to students’ knowledge or practical skills...if you ask graduating master’s students [as opposed to undergrads] who have managed to escape indoctrination (because they are fortunately endowed with a wide streak of skepticism), they will tell you that they learned nothing new. Yes, many teachers with master’s degrees in education are more skilled teachers. But this is not because they got a master’s degree. They went for a master’s degree because they are intelligent, were already skilled teachers (self-taught), and had the gumption to go back to school."

For more on accidental indoctrination into silly things, as well as a good representation of what an ed class can feel like:

TGIF

In celebration of Friday, here are some thoughts on what we (or some of us) used to do on Friday nights. I was thrilled to recently discover that a friend (who will remain nameless unless he wishes to identify himself) shared my same 90s television-watching pattern. I don't think I have ever had someone bring up the show Perfect Strangers; in fact, I wouldn't have been surprised if it turned out to be something I dreamed up.

The premise, from imdb.com: "A high strung and cynical man's life is never the same when his naive but good-natured cousin comes to America to live with him." Naive + good-natured almost always leads to my favorite happening: wacky hijincks.




I can't actually watch this clip again, because it makes me sad that this is how I spent my childhood. Not only is everything about it 80's-fabulous, it could very well be something made up by Family Guy (a la "Gumbel to Gumbel"). I'm pretty sure all the episodes are on YouTube, if anyone wants to do an in-depth analysis of Balki as the "othered" foreigner in U.S. culture, or just if you're super-bored. For other shows with a hip opening theme, all of which may secretly be the same show, check out Step by Step, Family Matters, Family Ties, and Full House.

Pupusas, please!

Last week I had the chance to stuff my face at local Caribbean restaurant Cazón Tropical. Cazón is a type of shark, not a variation on "casa," as I mistakenly told people for a long time. Life hint: learn another language, or just tell people you know one, and they'll believe anything you say. Anyway, we were there in time to catch the U.S. vs. Mexico soccer match. In case you're wondering, the closed-captioning is right on the money, as they do take the time to write out "GOOOOOOOOOOOL!" for as many lines as necessary. In addition to the excitement of the game, the food, was great. Here is an appetizer of 3 bean-and-cheese pupusas (more on pupusas below) along with horchata, a rice/milk/cinammon/really good drink.






Pupusas are pretty hard to describe to someone who hasn't had one, especially since the dough, cheese and beans make it like a lot of other things that you could get at similar restaurant. Ideally they are crispy on the outside and soft and cheesy on the inside. Here is a helpful video, though I warn you that it's all easier said (and watched) than done.

The Working World

Weird fetishists unite! I've always been put off by people in large character costumes (they can see you but you can't see them!) but I didn't think they had it this bad. I briefly worked as a Crash Test Dummy at the Mum Festival*, and I never had such a questionable experience. Mostly I wandered around, sweated a lot, and promoted car safety by waving.

While I can't imagine doing that as a job, I came across an article that outlines plenty of weird things that people do for a living in this country. Click through to find out how to get self-righteous messages saved up for your heathen friends who won't go with you in the Rapture, and where to get implants for your male dog to make him feel like a full canine once again.

My favorite, and one that I do want to try out, is the Something Store. You give them $10, and they send you...well, what does it sound like they send you? I was scoffed at by a few friends, but I'm tempted to do it. I've read a few complaints, but it seems to me that if you have high standards and don't like surprises, then you'd best stay away.

*Footnote: This is a sentence that no one has ever said before.